Dealing with Negativity is Part of Life

Failure is one of those inevitable things about life and the sooner you can get used to that the better. We all fail, fall, get knocked back, criticised and knocked down. But the important thing is to not let these hurdles get you down and keep you there. If you really want something you have to keep getting up and keep pushing forward. Every successful person has had to deal with negativity and has failed many times in their life. If you read autobiographies of top athletes or entrepreneurs I can guarantee they will talk about how many times they have failed and how many negative issues they have had to overcome. But they always get back up and come back stronger. So if you want to be successful and you want to make some changes then you also need to learn that failure is not a bad thing, as long as you commit to coming back again stronger.


Don’t give up – There have been many times in my life that I felt like giving up. I was widowed suddenly when I was 31 years old. My whole world came crashing down in an instance and there were times when I didn’t know if I could carry on. However, there were two key moments, both linked, that made me realise that I had to come back stronger.

A couple of weeks after I was widowed and I was arranging the funeral details, I wanted to arrange for donations to a charity instead of people giving flowers. I was on the way to a meeting at a local charity to discuss donations when I was waiting to cross a busy road at a crossing. As I was waiting a lorry was driving towards the crossing. For a split second I thought that if I stepped out it would end my pain. The only thing that stopped me was the realisation that I would then be placing more hurt and heartache on my family.

The second moment was when I actually arrived at the charity. The walls of their office was covered in photographs of terminally ill and life-limited children that had been helped by the charity. As soon as I stood there I knew that I should help. The charity, Wishes 4 Kids, offered to set up a fund in my late wife’s name, so that we could track donations and what the donations were used for. This was a way of keeping my wife’s name going for a good cause. Since then, over £50,000 has been raised for the fund by myself, family and friends in a variety of ways.

That will hopefully be the lowest place I will ever be at in my life. Any other knock-backs or failures I encounter can never be as bad meaning I know I can always come back, try again, learn from mistakes and be a better person.


Unhappiness can be your motivator – A lot of people I talk to are unhappy with the way they look, being overweight or the ‘wrong’ dress size. My philosophy is that if you are unhappy about something you need to commit to making a change. Get the help of a family member, a friend, or a Personal Trainer to help you with making those changes that will make you view yourself in a more positive way.

I learnt how to become more positive and grateful for the life I have and I decided from then on that I was always going to go for the things I want in life. If I didn’t try, then I wouldn’t achieve anything I wanted. So if you aren’t happy with where you are at now, use that as motivation to push through those boundaries and keep working towards your goals.


It’s all about persistence – The difference between actually reaching your goal or not is persistence. Persistence will always beat talent and that’s so important to remember. There are thousands of people out there who are talented at different things but the ones who work the hardest and never give up are the ones who succeed. That theory can also be applied to health, weight loss and exercising. So many times people give up just before they reach their goals, but if you want something enough then just keep going. You will eventually get there. And believe me, when you reach your goal you’ll look back and be so grateful you didn’t give up when things got tough.


It’s okay to make mistakes or regress – I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, but the mistakes have all helped me get to where I am now in my life. There have also been times where I have had to take steps back from my training in order to come back stronger. These have been through illness, injury (often by pushing too hard – I have learnt from this) or returning from holidays. This is not a problem and shouldn’t be viewed as such. I am now happy and doing the job I should have been doing years ago, which is helping others to be their best too. If you make a mistake, then learn from it and move on. Don’t sit and dwell on it, use it as something to make you grow and be a better person. Nobody is perfect, so mistakes are totally normal.


Believe in yourself – Generally the biggest obstacle standing between you and your goals is yourself. You aren’t going to achieve your goals if you don’t believe you can. Believe in yourself, believe you are good enough, commit yourself, work hard and smart, and don’t throw in the towel if doesn’t come easily. If you fall down, then don’t let any of that negative self-doubt creep in. Don’t ever give up on your goals because you don’t think you can achieve them.


The best way to learn and grow is not through our successes, but through our mistakes, failures and knock-backs. Appreciate them because they all add to who you are and who you will be in the future. Changing your life to be more positive, more active and healthier will be one of the best things you’ll ever do. I really can’t stress that enough. Start making those changes now. Nobody is going to do it for you. You need to take control of your life and be who you want to be. It is possible and you deserve it, remember that.


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